Deployment Of US Troops In Somalia
President Joe Biden has authorized the deployment of US troops in Somalia in an attempt to curb the threat of Al Shabab. Al Shabab is a terrorist organization that operates out of Somalian soil. The organization is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of civilians and has links to other groups such as Al Qaeda, and the Islamic State (IS).
A request was made by US defense secretary Lloyd Austin to redeploy US troops in the African country after almost all US presence was recalled under the trump presidency. The President of America, being the lover of peace that he is, obliged to this heartfelt request. US troops are now set to be deployed to another arid, hot war-torn country trying to takeout another threat to “world peace” or in other words American imperialism.
America's Hidden Reason for The Deployment
Whilst in a top-secret meeting, it is alleged that major issues were discussed among America's top officials. However, another more eminent agenda was also discussed in the meeting, and that was the exquisite cuisine present in Somalia. Foods such as Bariis Iskukaris, Soor, and Surbiyaan were at the top of the agenda. Unlike previous occupations where the countries' resources were stolen, and the land was raped for profit, this time American occupation is shepherded by empty stomachs and a gluttonous need for ethnic foods. After centuries of subjugation of Africans as slaves, and the systemic oppression of African Americans, the cabal that controls American politics has finally decided to embrace the succulent foods of the African continent. Instead of illegally extracting Somalia’s minimal mineral resources as was the case in Afghanistan, the Americans have decided to have authority over the country’s richest resource, its pastures. The overarching plan of the Americans is to control Somalian food production and make the country into US’s own personal kitchen.
Somalian Presidents Warm Welcome
Newly elected Somalian President, Hassan Sheikh Mohamud sent a warm welcome to the American forces. A basket of Somalian foods was sent to each and every American official as a way to help acclimate their bland tongues to actually well-seasoned foods. In return, Americans sent the new head of state a basket filled with a heavy amount of green paper. It has not been confirmed what exactly the green paper is, and it has left western journalists dumbfounded. Their theories of what the paper is range from greeting cards to get well soon cards for the president’s niece suffering from the common cold.
Somalia’s Future
Although the Americans have made assurances that this will not be another repeat of Vietnam, Afghanistan, Bay of Pigs, Korea, etcetera it is a tad bit difficult to believe that US forces will be largely successful in accomplishing their “noble” front plan of eradicating Al Shabab given their less than stellar record of past conflicts. Most likely Somalians will have to look at their most valuable farmlands being exploited from over-farming to fill the endless well that is the American appetite. They will have to see Al Shabab slowly gain more and more territory even though the most powerful military force occupies their once beautiful land. Who knows? Americans may even start protecting Al Shabab revenue generators as they once protected poppy fields in Afghanistan. Whatever the future is, one thing is for certain: American stomachs will win, and Somalians will suffer.
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