Japan Finally Opens – A Mysterious Announcement
Two years after COVID struck our god-forsaken planet, Japan finally opens itself up for tourists. Now initially the lockdown was enforced to cut down the spread of the COVID but now yet again most locals believe it’s a vital move to control the spread of yet another “disease” known as Gaijin. Yes, you heard me. Gaijin is the Japanese hip-lingo for labeling tourists. We all know the Japanese are Xenophobic by nature, with their increasingly disturbing erotic interest in tentacles. As if letting literal flesh-eating cannibals walk the streets wasn’t enough, they feel obligated to reenact the entirety of Das Parfum on a nationwide scale through this reopening.
The prime minister of Nippon, Fumio Kishida announced that they would start accepting tourists in tranches. It is wholly possible that they want to “ease” tourists into the country, but a more feasible point of view on the situation would be that they want the tourists to be more palatable. Figuratively, and of course perhaps maybe literally. The ball’s in their court.
Dissecting the Hate. Uncovering the Lies.
Some believe this hatred of foreigners itself is driven by the fact that Japan is a country mostly filled with old people. The logic may be sound, after all, old people are genetically skewed towards racism. Furthermore, the Japanese “Bushido” is said to be an exploitative nationalist principle in order to drive corporate growth without regard for human health. It is in fact a mental disorder fueled by the sin of pride. It is apparently due to this very exploitative principle that the Japanese elite and grandmas don’t want foreign ideologies to fester in their superior society. Young Maeda must wake up in his 500 sq ft apartment at 5 AM to reach the subway on time. There, he might or might not harass young women on the train to alleviate his god-awful “stress”. He would then be forced by his immediate superior to work 29 hours on his first shift while also making sure that his boss has enough vitamins to harass all the women in his department. For the stress.
It is wholly possible that the above-mentioned situation is the core issue behind the Japanese people being huge Ridley Scott fans. However, the truth is far simpler. The people of Japan have been traumatized by the quiet insurgence of Western Anime-fans. Not only are the poor people of Japan forced to endure "sus" rants about the latest anime sexualizing children from these crazed westerners, but they must also supply them with increasingly disturbing mundanities defiled by their inane sense of lust. These victims of new age mental Auschwitz have no real way of deflecting the much-feared white man, with his tantalizing neckbeard, Gucci jean-shorts, and literal social experiment Balenciaga’s.
A Warning for The Masses
Now I’m no nerd, I haven’t seen the much-acclaimed “Attack on Titan” but I know for a fact that the show is meant to spread the much-feared genocidal tendencies the Japanese harbor against the rest of the world for portraying their culture as anything but the utopian enigma that it currently is. So, here’s my warning: Do not disturb the hornet’s nest, let these calm and ever-peaceful people be, for the devil shivers when a pent-up corporate slave decides to buy some rope. Just go visit Dubai again.
No comments: