The Baby Formula Shortage Highlights America's Systemic Oppression
America has been hit with a massive shortage of baby formula which has resulted in pharmacy shelves remaining barren. The mainstream media will have you believe that these disruptions have been caused due to mere supply chain issues, however, the reality of the situation has far more sinister implications.
How The Biden Administration Is Responding
The FDA commissioner Robert M. Califf spoke on the current situation saying “Steps like the one the agency is taking today means more infant formula will be available to parents and caregivers in the weeks and months ahead. We will not rest until our shelves are replete with safe and nutritious infant formula,”. The Biden administration has ordered goat milk as a way of alleviating the shortage. The Australian milk producer known as Bubs has sent approximately 27 million 8-ounce bottles to the United States. However, a sample of these milk bottles was taken by an independent, anonymous lab, and the results were so shocking that the lead doctor had lost consciousness due to shock and had a booboo because he bumped his head.
The findings had an air of Lovecraftian implications to them and in a secretly released audio clip of an unknown individual, the man said “Man what we found was horrifying! I’ll tell you exactly what it is but let’s go in the other room because I’m feeling paranoid that we are being recorded here”. In the released audio clip, we can hear the urgency in the man’s voice; through him, we can get a surge of excitement as to what the results are similar to how we wait for post-credit scenes in the cinemas of today for the cryptic announcement of the 10 millionth comic book movie releasing this year.
The Final Reveal of The Government's Dread-Filled Machinations
Picture a scene. A man, woman, non-binary entity, an individual of Xenogender, or a kitten sexual (we are extremely progressive. Do not cancel us) is standing outside a massive brutalist structure. The person knows that inside lies all that is wrong with the world. every devilish individual hiding inside. Every piece of information could blow the world leaders' reputations to smithereens. Every weapon that has been built to the detriment of peace and love is laying refuge inside. All this individual must do now is just open the massive wooden doors before them and vanquish all the bad in this world. To simply walk inside and execute every corrupt and compromised person they see, release every piece of damning information, dismantle, and destroy every weapon housed inside. By accomplishing such a task, the individual would put the old world asunder and usher in a new age of peace and tranquility.
By releasing the truth about the baby formula shortage our organization will be able to accomplish a similar effort. We will be able to open every person’s eye to the world they live and suffer in. We would be able to live in a perfect world; gain the ability to put all our utopian ideations to practice. Ladies, gentlemen, and whatever pronouns you may use for yourself, we could live in a world of eternal happiness. Politrix News will now finally release the news of gargantuan proportions, but in our next article which will be behind a paywall. We may be changing the world, but we still have to keep the lights on.
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